The past two episodes of Succession have struck a nerve with me. Perhaps needless to say, spoilers for season 4 follow.

First, there is the funeral in episode 9. We have several of Logan’s family members saying their piece about him, and some of it is filled with excuses and the glowing clichés that everyone dredges up at funerals and when they speak of the departed. But some of it, notably from his brother Ewan, is real and raw. Ewan does not mince his words, nor much care if anyone objects to him. But in so doing, he also exposes a long hinted at truth about Logan, a story that recontextualizes the entire character. It does not excuse him, but it gives us a better understanding of him.

I was reminded of my grandmother. She had a terrible temper and doled out cruel punishments and beatings (with broomsticks and tree branches and belts and whatever else happened to be handy) to my mother an aunt whenever she was angry, or irritated, or embarrassed, and that was often.

She married mostly because that was what was expected of her in her day and after my grandfather died, she married again, not so much for love, but for convenience and financial gain. She was never, to my mind, truly happy, and was quick to drop a cutting remark. You’re balding. You have no style. You’re too selfish. You’re late. Nothing you did was right. Only some of her grandchildren were impressive to her and worth showing off to her friends. The rest were an embarrassment (I wonder if she ever thought that many of those embarrassments would be her casket bearers one day).

If I have made her sound like an unpleasant human being, I offer this anecdote which to me functioned much in the same way Ewan’s story about Rose for Logan. My grandmother was the only girl in her family. Each of the boys were sent off to college after graduating high school and went on to have successful careers. My grandmother had wanted to be a secretary, but instead of being allowed to go to school, she was given $5 and a pig.

This isn’t quite as dramatic as spending your life thinking you were cause of someone else’s death, but to me it says plenty. Here was a woman who had at least some career ambition, and it was squashed. She tried to settle into a domestic lifestyle that did not suit her and she remained privately miserable and unhappy for most of her days.

I found myself wishing someone would say these things about her at her funeral instead of the clichés they bandied about so freely. Granted, that would seem improper and impolite. But all humans are complicated and we come to a better understanding of them when we see them for who they really are. Isn’t that more valuable?